Writing Down My Thoughts
by Rayofdarkness
Summary: Ciel writes down his thoughts, but what happens when Sebastian finds out. -One Shot-


**Autumn:** Whaoo hoo! i FINALLY got a Kuroshitsuji fanfic up! ohhh i'm so proud of myself (^_^) well, i hope you all like it! AND FOR THE SAKE OF FANFIC i know the characters are somewhat OOC but let us love them all the same and let imagination run wild, hell thats why it's called an imagination right? this is a one-shot by the way!

**Sebastian:** Young Mistress Autumn does not own Kuroshisuji, for if she did, my Young Master and i would be preforming indecent acts upon many different things and in many different places.

**Autumn:** damn right you would be! Authors note at the end!

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**Writing Down My Thoughts**

**SebastianxCiel**

_I thought about it for a long time and decided to put my thoughts on paper. I don't know what time it is but I can see the moon shining bright in the sky. I thought writing would perhaps make me feel more relived. I was wondering why. Why had such a thing grown inside my heart and for my butler no less? No, for a demon of all things… yes, I have fallen for him. I don't know how it happened, much less when this feeling decided to bloom. I noticed not more then three days ago. It was the way he looked as he was cleaning the library and I was reading a book, well, I had planed on reading the book._

_It was the way he looked so perfect, so inhuman, so beautiful that I couldn't help but take in the sight. Black locks the color of night, skin that looked as smooth as a glass doll, skin pale like that of porcelain, eyes ruby red or even wine red at times. I have found myself to be gazing at him now, more or less from afar. I noticed how he would handle things, as if with care, even to the other servants. Yesterday I watched him from my study's window. He was trimming the rose bush and fixing the bed of flowers. The roses matched his eyes. I stared longingly at him, until he looked up. He looked up in my direction. As if he knew I was staring, he smiled his trade mark smile and continued to stare back. I, for once, didn't turn my head away, didn't avert my eyes, I didn't even get upset at the fact that he might be mocking me. No, I continued to stare back, I even smiled. That is when I turned my head away and headed toward my room_

_Now here I am, writing down all my thoughts concerning that butler. I doubt he feels the same for me. I doubt he sees me the way I see him. I doubt he thinks of me the way I think of him. I doubt he loves me the way I've come to love him. I know what it is he loves and that is my soul. And that is it. I hate to admit my chest aches whenever I think of it that way. It hurts to know he will never see me as more then a meal. And it hurts to know I will never know the love of another. I will never know what it is like to be loved romantically. But I guess, as long as I die by his hands, I'll be more then happy…_

Sebastian stared at the paper his Young Master had written on. To say the least it stunned the demon butler. So, all those times Ciel had gazed upon him in such a way, it was all because the young boy loved him. Sebastian didn't know what to make of this.

"Sebastian…?"

The demon turned to see his Young Master sitting up on his bed and rubbing his eyes. Sebastian quickly put the paper down and turned toward his master.

"Forgive me my Lord, I didn't mean to wake you." Sebastian said.

Ciel looked at his butler speciously then he saw his little letter. The boy's eyes widened.

"Did you…read it…?" Ciel said looking down.

"Young Master I believe I shou-"

"Answer me! That's an order!" Ciel yelled.

"….yes…." Sebastian said sighing.

Ciel felt his whole body go numb. The one thing he didn't want to happen happened. He knew he should have thrown that damned piece of paper away. He dared to meet Sebastian's eyes. The demon butler was looking back at him, his eyes showed…concern? No, Ciel refused to be made a fool out of. He refused to let this demon eat away at his weakness.

"Get out…." Ciel said as calm as he could.

"Young Master I-"

"GET OUT! That was an order!" Ciel yelled, his voice trembling.

No, he would not be weak, he would not give in. He would not feel hurt; he would not burst into tears. He would not, he would not, he would _not_!

"If the Young Master would be so kind as to let me…I would like to stay…" Sebastian said in a gentle voice.

"Why? So you can mock me? So you can laugh at my weakness? So you can take pleasure in the fact that what is written on that paper is nothing but pure fantasy? I think not…I refuse to have you of all people see me that way!"

Ciel glared at Sebastian. But as his butler slowly began to walk up to him, Ciel's eyes softened to something more along the lines of surprised. Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes locking with his master mismatched ones. There was nothing said, just a dead silence that started to bother the young earl.

"If…..if you're just going to stare at me then….then please…just leave…" Ciel said averting his eyes.

Sebastian watched as Ciel's shoulders trembled ever so slightly. He lifted his hand to touch Ciel's cheek, making the boy look at him. Ciel's eyes widened at the gentle gesture, though they saddened again.

"Se…Sebastian, what are you-"

Ciel was suddenly pulled into a tight hug. His face was buried in his butler's shoulder as his felt Sebastian's fingers thread through his hair. The arm wrapped around his waist tightened as the demon's breath tickled the earl's ear.

"Young Master…do you really care that much for me?" Sebastian asked petting Ciel's hair.

"It doesn't matter…. Whether I do or not the ending will be the same…." Ciel said lowering his head.

Sebastian pulled Ciel away just a bit to see his face. He caressed his soft cheek watching as those eyes closed and the young boy leaned into his butler's touch. Sebastian leaned forward, resting their foreheads together. Ciel's eyes only half opened as he stared at his demon, his face turning into a pink hue.

"My Lord, I care for you as well." Sebastian cooed out.

"Sebastian please don't lie to me…" Ciel's voice trembled as he lowered his gaze.

"I do not lie my Lord. Please look at me…" Sebastian said.

Ciel did. He met his butler's ruby eyes. They sparkled and the word ruby could no longer describe them. Ciel couldn't hold back anymore.

"Sebastian…kiss me…." Ciel said half knowingly.

Sebastian didn't even ask if it was an order. He cupped Ciel's face with his left hand while his right tightened around the small boys frame. He kissed Ciel; sweetly, slowly moving his lips, coaxing Ciel to do the same, which the young earl did. Their lips moved in a lover's manner, slowly and savoring the moment, the feel, and the taste of each other. Ciel's hands traveled up Sebastian's chest and then wrapped around his frame, gripping the tail coat he wore. Sebastian deepened the kiss, causing Ciel to let out a soft moan. When Sebastian pulled away, Ciel almost let out a whimper. He wanted the moment to last a little longer.

"Stay with me….please…" Ciel said blushing a little more.

Sebastian smiled.

"Yes, my Lord."

The demon butler removed his shoes, tail coat, and vest and set them on a near by chair. He removed his tie and unbuttoned the first three buttons of his shirt before he slipped into the bed. Ciel moved over to make some room for his butler. Ciel moved closer to Sebastian, hugging him tight. Sebastian returned the tight hug.

"Sebastian I….thank you... I love you..." Ciel said softly, burying his face in his demon chest.

Sebastian lifted Ciel's head and smiled warmly at him.

"And I love you, my Lord, my Young Master, my dear Ciel…"

With that, Sebastian locked his lips with Ciel's pale pink soft ones. Ciel didn't protest, not at all. He kissed Sebastian back, with the emotions that were written on that paper.

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**Autumn:** so, heres the thing! i want to write a Kuroshitsuji Ch. Fanfic but i want YOUR input. what would you like to see? personally i want it to be an AU since i don't see them all that much, and if it is Sebastian is still a demon (don't get me wrong i still love them! hail to the writers!) give me something that would catch your eye, some spice in the mix. free hugs and cookies to those who give an idea!

REVIEWS = LOVE


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